Been back for a while, actually, but just.. forgot about the blog completely (again).
Anyway, this post is... well.. more like a written record to myself. A reminder to myself because I haven't been true to myself in a while (I mean.. it's hard to always be) and so this is a written record of all the things I think, feel, believe, hope for and want to achieve.
Oh and it's so funny how in March 2010 I didn't mention anything about Sam. My boyfriend. Of 8 months. Whom I am absolutely in love with.. I love him to bits. Unfortunately, we're incredibly different and we've been having a bit of tension. Which is completely fine because I've started realizing the joys of having diversity in your friendship and in your relationship- being your own individual. It's just that I think we just have really really different approaches to problem solving, to resolving conflicts and to communicating to each other about the deep stuff. Especially with the different background and stuff, I've just recently realized that there is a need for us to really identify the line between "opinion" and "argument" because with us it's been a bit hazy- and I, being the overly-and-openly-opinionated person I am, have... in one way or another.. perhaps sparked some tension that I think aren't really caused by the opinions themselves but just misunderstanding in general. We're having a bit of time to ourselves at the moment, I'm really hoping it works out but I think here are just some statements/promises I have to make to myself that I think I need to be constantly reminded of in the future.
I love myself, take care of myself and treat myself with love and respect.
I radiate love. I love the people around me, I radiate good energy and I treat them with love and respect.
I appreciate.
I live a life I believe to be truest to myself and best for the situation/environment around me.
I accept consequence, accept hardship, accept events I might not be willing to accept and that might feel unfair, and trust that they are in the will of God or a divine power, or destiny, and that they are for the best and that they will allow something better in my life that will give me peace and joy.
I accept the lessons I've learnt and need to learn through these hardships and conflicts that I have with other people and within myself.
I learn to love and let live. To wish everyone all the joy and happiness in the world even if their actions have caused me pain or harm.
I am protected by a divine power. Happiness.
I continually seek to understand, empathize, sympathize and accept the people around me. Accept diversity, and accept difference as a beauty.
I radiate love.
My Goals:
To be independent. To be my own person.
To have peace within myself and my household.
To bring peace to my family- immediate and my own.
To challenge myself intellectually and emotionally- to be able to progress and achieve a greater understanding of the world.
To be a beautiful dancer. Not just a technical dancer with all the right skills, moves and styling. But one who dances from her soul, who portrays and interprets, and who, through dancing, evokes all these emotions in even the people who can't dance- of joy, of sadness, of all beauty, among other things- so much and so strongly that they regress back to the past, to the different times when they've associated with those emotions, to all the significant events that have caused them joy and pain, and to remember.
--- Sammy, I love you. We need trust, mutual understanding- we need work. It is against my will if I lose you but I trust that all that happens will be in the will of God and/or a divine power. and that everything will be okay.
But I love you. I want you to know that.
